Finally the Fourth of July is here with all the fanfare it deserves in my little town. There are so many culminating events…the Philharmonic, the Americana, the fireworks, the park events, and how can we forget the parade? Kathy’s daughter and friends came from San Diego to enjoy an old-fashioned Fourth of July parade and all the fun the lakes offer.
I pulled my wagon out of the garage, loaded it up with three lawn chairs, sunscreen, water, and my phone for photos. I was excited to visit with Emma and her friends. I went down a little early to set up camp! They really were great seats, even at the end of the parade. Emma and her friends brought the rest of the chairs and were over the top with parade enthusiasm! “Best parade in northern Indiana,” I said. We settled into our lawn chairs to wait, and were not disappointed. (I told that when Bill’s Towing showed up, that was the end----and I was right!) Lots of years I am in the parade, but not this one, so I could just cheer from the sidelines! The parade was everything they hoped it would be…candy in their pockets, smiles on their faces, and an appreciation for small town U.S.A. After the parade, I hauled all my chairs back up the hill. As I went to put them away, I noticed the garage remote was not where I usually keep it! Hmm…I never put it in a different place or lose it, so it is somewhere, but the picnic at Aaron and Rachel’s calls me. No problem, I can put everything away later. By later, I guess I meant on Sunday morning after all the festivities.
By Sunday morning my wagon was drenched. No problem. It will dry out, but in the meantime, where is that remote? I started my search. I really dislike losing things and I am always telling my kids, “”put things back where you found them.” Yes, I say that, but on this day, I didn’t follow my own advice. Three hours later I have searched every nook and cranny in my house and yard. I checked in weird places…every drawer, every seat cushion, every roll of toilet paper-----even in the toilet. Okay, that is really extreme, but I am being honest here. Once the search was complete, I didn’t find it, so, of course, I do it all over again. Don’t we all? In the meantime (yes, there is a meantime) I realize the downstairs toilet is plugged. I have had lots of guests this week…now what did they do? I am handy with the plunger. So, I plunged away, but with no success. Again, try the same thing over every hour because surely it will work. Sadly, no. I donned the rubber gloves. Aha…I can fix this. Nope, I can’t. I continued this sage through the day on Sunday…remote, toilet, remote, toilet. By four in the afternoon, I finally came to the realization that the two must meet. (Twain meet?) I think I solved the riddle. The remote must have fallen out of my back pocket and into the toilet. Sure. That’s what happened.
I make my calls to Bradley Overhead Doors, and my long time handyman, Lee. I make the confessions and hope to see them both soon. Bradley Doors appeared first. Of course, they wanted to get into the garage to make me a new remote. Alas. Alas.
As I sit and wait for the finder’s keepers, I am reminded of the book by Judith Viorst, “Alexander, Who Used to Be Rich Last Sunday.” Last Saturday morning I had a working remote. Last Saturday I had a working toilet. Last Saturday I used to be rich. Now what do I have now? A lost remote. A broken toilet. Oh, and two blank checks.
Update: Doug from Bradley Doors used a wire coat hanger and was finally able to get into the garage through a side door. (When he first asked if I had a coat hanger, I answered, “Yes. And it’s in the garage!” But I found one upstairs.) I had a chat with Doug about his son, who wants to be a writer. Anyway, the garage door now operates, I have two working remotes and a $261.61 dent in my checking account.
The toilet mystery is still unsolved, but Lee said if there really is a remote control stuck in there, I’ll have a topic for my next column!
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