I came out of rehearsal last night, and the full Worm Moon
of March actually took my breath away. It was so gorgeous rising above us in a
sphere of peach colored light. I stood in the Furth parking lot for the longest
time just watching and thinking. Of course, you know how much I love the full
moon and spend hours gazing and writing about the moon. This one was different
though. As I stood watching, my thoughts went to my parents. First to my dad
who loved the moon even more than I do. When he visited us on the farm, he
would sit out on our porch swing and watch the sun go down over Doc’s fields
and the moon rise in our own woods. He always sang, “I see the moon, and the
moon sees me.” That song I sing over and over to my grandchildren. Secondly, my thoughts went to my mom. My mom
lies dying in hospice, and this will be her last full moon with us.
I guess we all know the time will come to say good-bye to
our parents. My dad left us fourteen years ago and now my mom is ready to make
her own journey. I sit with my sister, Jessie, and watch the changes. Since I
didn’t grow up here, most of you never met my parents. My dad, as you do know
from this column, was a theatre guy. We played the piano together, shared our
love of theatre, watched the moon, and memorized poetry. My mom was the
complete opposite. She was a glamorous mother. She had more beauty in her than
in her four daughters combined. We marveled at the way she dressed, and in her
beauty. I was a bit different from my mom. I am more of a jeans and t-shirt kind
of girl. She was always hoping I would cut my hair or get married or get a
normal job.
Most of you are familiar with her love stories. After my
dad died, the six of us took turns taking her places, sharing our lives with
her. I took her to Ocracoke with me. She had a great time visiting with Philip,
helping out with his brother’s wedding. Kathy was along for the journey, and we
all loved introducing her to the Ocracoke way of life. She loved it there She
even participated in Hands Across the Sand with us. The rest of the brothers
and sisters took her to different locations. My sister, Jessie, took her on a
cruise for her Halloween birthday from Boston to Nova Scotia. It was there she
met Dick, the new love of her life. Dick lost his wife several years earlier,
and decided he needed to do something for himself, so he booked the same
cruise. Of course, he fell in love with her at once. Who didn’t? After the
cruise, he went to Houston to visit her and then she went to England to visit
him. A year later they were married outside of London. I flew to her wedding to
stand up with her. They were happy. They spent half of the year in England and
then the winter months in North Palm Beach.
Two years ago, Dick became sick and one beautiful spring
day, he died. My mom was just lost without him. Jessie drove down and picked
her up even though she protested thinking she should be going back to England.
It has been hard watching my mom mourn the loss of two lovely men who both
loved her dearly. Now it is time to join them.
In hospice, my mom reaches for them…or so we think. The
nurses think it is interesting that she reaches high even while sleeping. Does
she see them? Or her parents? Or her lovely brother, my Uncle Dean? I guess we
do not have answers for that. I do know this. My mom is strong and is a
fighter. She has defied the laws of hospice until now. Jessie said to me, “She
will not go quietly into the night.” My dad’s love of poetry still creeps into
our lives as she quoted Dylan Thomas.
I watched the moon slide across the town last night. Over
the courthouse, over the countryside, over sleeping babies, over those cozily
watching basketball in their homes.
My mom’s last full moon.
“Do not go gentle into that
good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.”
Dylan Thomas
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