To my neighbors on S. West Street in Angola, Indiana.....
I have failed you. Yes, I know. My lawn is unmowed. I have violated Indiana code 470 which states: "All homeowners in Indiana will mow their lawn when the grass tips begin to wave in the wind."
I have not trimmed...violating code 834 which states: "All homeowners in Indiana will trim their lawns when the grass tips are higher than the mowed grass."
I have not weeded yard or garden...violating code 923 which states: "All homeowners in Indiana will weed their yards and gardens when one or more weed appears."
I have excuses...really I do. Do you want to hear them?
All right, all right...Saturday I will mow and trim and weed. So please stop marching in front of my house...please remove the TV cameras...it is so embarrassing to go to work with my coat over my head...and please don't withhold my paycheck. Isn't it enough to be honest with you, yes, my neighbors, I have sinned.