I had a dream this week about websites. That truly is
uninspiring and not hardly the essence of beautiful and lovely dreams. Perhaps
it was more of a nightmare than a dream. When I woke I had this eerie feeling
(well, it is October) about websites and mine more specifically. In the dark
dawn of morning I headed into my studio to check out my own blogger website. It
felt strangely familiar, yet not so much. First of all, I needed a new
password, and I don’t remember ever even needing a password for my blog site. I
just automatically logged on. Well, that took a few moments as I had to go back
and forth between blogger and email to establish a new password. Then, just
like that, I was connected. It looked vaguely familiar, yet oddly, not
familiar. As I began to read through my daily blog, I realized my last entry
was March 17, 2020. The truth is, I could not believe that. I mean I have kept
up this blog for over fifteen years almost on a daily basis. I love my blog
site. I post my travel, my stories, my adventures. I post events in town,
poetry, opportunities, thoughts (rather deep thoughts), yet here it was staring
me right in the face, March 17, 2020. The last entry was the story of Carolyn
and me deciding to stay home from ukulele camp as this Covid event was
somewhere…doing something. There is a photo of the two of us and how sad we
were not to go. It was also light-hearted making light of washing our hands and
taking care.
There was no mention of masks, of school closing, of life
coming to a standstill. Yet my blog came to a standstill, and I have not
thought of it once since that date. That is so odd. I have thought of
everything else.
How deeply have we been affected by this virus that I did
not notice my outdated blog for over a year and a half? What happened to my own
brain…the brain I think is still pretty good. It wasn’t that I came down with
the virus. I did not. It wasn’t that my life completely stood still. It did
not. But where did the shut down occur, and did this happen to you also? And,
if so, how do we come out of this Covid fog all these months later?
I thought I knew all the answers to these questions. I
mean, I have been vaccinated and had the booster shot. I had my first house
party last week, I teach my classes, I even
had some storytelling events. (Okay, not many, but a few live events!)
How long is it before the dark cloud of Covid is finally
released? Or, I wonder, will it ever be? Will we be changed forever?
The only actual value I see of the big “P” is that perhaps
from now on, when we are sick and around folks, we will wear a mask. To that
effect, I have washed all my twenty masks and found a place for them in a dark,
distant drawer. Okay, to be honest, a few remain out for trips to town or when
friends need the reassurance of a mask to spend some time together. I do try to
remember to wear my mask to Aldi’s or CVS or into a restaurant before being
seated. I often ask now if a mask is required or preferred. I will, of course,
honor that as we move forward.
But now, of course, there is that problem with my blog
site. Where do I start? I have taken hundreds of photos, written dozens of
columns and stories, and even had as many events in this past year and a half.
Do I just start over as if March 17, 2020 were yesterday, and today is mid-October,
2021? Do I make an apology? Will anyone even come back to reading my blog after
this hiatus? Or do I just close it out as a fun writing chapter of my life and
move on? I mean, I never even missed it or thought about it until my dream this
week.
And what about you? What have you totally forgotten
about? Is something just now surfacing
as some kind of reminder of how it was in the “olden days”?
The “olden days” were
just a year and a half ago…but oh it does seem so long ago.
Published first in KPC, October 17,2021